Some things every man should know.

This is a list of things that every American male should know, or know how to do. This is not one of those ridiculous lists that requires you to be a polymath. This isn't one of those lists that demands you grow a beard or know how to field dress a rabbit or build a car. These are simple things that every man should know. Actually simple. Here we go.

1. Know how to play chess. I'm not saying you need to be a grandmaster. You just need to know the rules, know how each piece moves, know how to "castle", understand what the "endgame" is. You don't have to be good. Just know how to play a basic game.

2. Know how to change the oil in your car AND know how to change a flat tire. These two maintenance issues are the one your car will need most often (oil change) and the one your car will need at the worst possible time (tire change). Both are simple and can be learned in one day by watching videos online.

3. Know how to operate a semi-automatic firearm. They all pretty much operate along the same basic principles. You don't necessarily have to be a "gun guy", but unless you're actually scared of firearms as inanimate objects, the odds are that eventually you'll be in a position to handle one. Please understand how to load and insert a magazine. Please understand that there is a "slide" or a "bolt" that  must be moved rearward and then released forwars to "chamber" the round. There may be a safety that has to be switched. Then the trigger has to be pulled to fire. This is all really simple. When a man is handed a firearm, he isn't supposed to be scared or fumble around or look like an idiot. You can ask questions, it okay to be unfamiliar. But all firearms work in the same basic manner, using the same scientific and mechanical principles, with only slight deviations. We're just asking you not to have a panic attack and to please have a basic understanding of what you're looking at.

4. Know the rules of baseball. I know that baseball is losing some popularity because of the lack of constant excitement, action and high scoring, but it is the original pastime of America, back when America didn't have to become great AGAIN. You don't have to be good at baseball, or follow it on TV, or pick a favorite team, or even go out and play. Just know the rules and the basic idea, and try to know enough of the lingo to have a basic conversation. And please know what "the count" is.

5. Drive. When you have a man and woman in the car, the man usually needs to drive. Doesn't always have to be that way for every trip, but the man usually needs to be driving.

6. Stop always saying that you have to ask "the wife" before you do anything. I can guarantee that your wife is almost never going to stop to ask you about her next minor purchase or whether she can go to lunch with her girl friends or change something around in the house. Try to reduce the amount you ask her for. Especially if you're the one winning most of the bread. She makes plenty of decisions without consulting you first, I guarantee that. You can do the same thing, and it's not going to ruin anything or make her angry. If it makes her angry, then she has a problem.

7. If you haven't had a raise at your job in over a year, and if you're in good standing at your work (not on disciplinary probabtion, for example), go ask for a raise. Like do it the next time you see your boss. Maybe they say no, but at least you asked. Maybe you get lucky and get one. People who ask for raises get them more often than people who don't. I've only ever had to ask for a raise one time in my life, and they gave it to me. My coworker went and did the same thing the next week based on my advice, and they gave him one too. Go ask.

8. Know how to mow your own grass. Mowing in a pattern speeds the process and helps you avoid missing areas. If you live in a house, renting or owning, you should have your own mower (or easy access to one). If you don't, you need to be working toward it. Don't hire someone to mow your yard. Mow your own. An exception is letting the neighbor kid mow it for a few bucks during his Summer break.